You've left me speechless.

And I know that it's complicated,
But I'm a loser in love.
So baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts,
of all my wrecked up friends.

I'll never talk again.
Oh boy you've left me speechless.
You've left me speechless, so speechless.

I'll never love again.
Oh friend you've left me speechless.
You've left me speechless, so speechless.

And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to,
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we've been through,
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise to you boy,
That I'll never talk again,
And I'll never love again.
I'll never write a song.
Wont even sing along.

I'll never love again.
You left me speechless, so speechless.
Why you so speechless, so speechless?


that song makes me think of you.

Blurst of Exhilaration.

I've been so caught up and so sucked into friends, school, drama, and life that I've never really had any spare time to just sit down, and write. My old passion that now has been swept under the carpet because I can never seem to find any time for it anymore. Writing. It should be as easy as finding a pen and a pad of paper but I just haven't had much energy to put effort into wording out my thoughts. So this will be an unloading process for me.

Life's been alot more difficult lately. My relationship has been developing more and more and has just now surpassed 2 months of nothing but passion and love (along with a few bumps and bruises along the way). My parent's aren't much different though. My father, is my father. Without- a - doubt. And my mother is a constant pain with all of her constant accusations and bullshit reasons for what is and isn't the best for my sister and I. Sometimes it's crazy how outrageous and completely useless her words of advice really are to me. Friendships are constantly on a roller coaster of emotions if you ask me. I've gained, I've lost. Nothing much to contribute to that aspect of the paragraph. Also, I guess that I have learned a little bit about myself.
I've learned that I'm ever so terrible at apologizing when I know that I should; and simply can't explain my emotions or opinions on things worth a living shit. To maintain a great love, you must give a great love. A burning compassionate type of emotion that will leave your partner never with a doubt of how much you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, need them in your life. To live, to survive, to function, basically. And lately I have really been trying to show that to my partner. I've been trying to show that without a doubt in my mind that I will always and forever be there, loving and needing them more than I've ever needed anything in my entire life. My being and existence are all for them. And if you have personally met me, I think that past sentence is obvious. I see my entire future with them and I cannot wait for the day that we will be engaged and living our dreams out together. I want to right there when they accomplish every goal that they've ever had. And I want to be the one that they can say was always there when nobody else was. Always believing, encouraging, loving, them. Always.
My sister and I have grown closer which I can say is probably a major plus. I've included in the plans and functions that my friends and I go to and I think that it really leaves a good effect on her, even though she is majorly crazy. For once in our life we've finally become, friends. No longer, enemy's. And we're slowly plotting leaving the house and getting as far away as we possibly can from this living and burning hell hole. Which we hope that soon we will at least get to have our own bedrooms again, because that would make being stuck at home just a little better. Hopefully in a two story home with a basement so we can avoid our family as MUCH as possible without actually moving out. Sad that we look forward to that day so much. Really, it is.
Anyways, I feel like nothing else is worth mentioning other than some of the time that I spent with Brooklynn. But I can never written anything about her other than in our notebook. Which, I couldn't. It's just wrong. Hah. Bleh, now my fingers are sore from typing. Au Revoir.

The City Lights.

“The lights of the city remind me of your smile. It’s so bright and unique. But no matter how many times I pass by, the beauty never gets old.”

What I've Realized.

What I’ve just now realized is that I lost you. I’ve COMPLETELY lost you. Do you know how insane that is?! January would have been two years. Do you not know that? Or do you just not care.. Ugh. I just wish that you wouldn’t have thrown our love away like you did.. because I still care. No matter how much I deny it to your face you’ll always know me well enough to know the truth.

Terror.

And as much as I love you, I’ve finally found someone that I can move on, to. But letting go of you scares me, and I want nothing more than you to stop me. Stop me from moving on. Because the truth is, it will always be you for me. But if you don’t, I won’t turn around. I will move on. And that scares me, too. Falling in love with someone else, scares me. Never being with you again scares me. And I’m afraid of being rejected by the one person that I’ve been able to feel something for in the past thirteen months that isn’t you. I’m just really scared right now. I’m tired of being hurt. I’m tired of the constant pain that I’ve just learned to live with. I just want to be happy again. Because I’ve been happy before, and it’s incredible. And I want it again.

Remember This.

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.