Unresolved Feelings.

Dear Stranger,

Things work out funny, don't they? Everything we've been through and felt seems to have all disappeared; slipped through our fingers even. I never thought I'd see you going from my everything, to nothing. Did you see it happening? Did you have any idea? Or were you just as clueless and dumbfounded as I was? All the things that I've put you through, you never deserved. I was hard on you. I was out of line 97% of the time. I'll admit that I was wrong. But you know what, so were you. You used to hurt me. But I never stopped fighting. I never stopped trying. And it was all because I loved you. You were worth fighting for. You were worth the pain I felt. At least you used to be worth it. I don't really know what happened between then and now, but the obvious is that you're gone. I didn't try stopping you this time, I let you go. I wasn't going to hold you back, not again. You deserve the best that only God can grace you with, which I'll never even be half as good as you need or want. Love is about compromise. But I don't think we took that into consideration. We were so head-over-heels that we just thought that everything would come easier than it did, and we wanted to believe it. It wasn't. It was hard- very hard. I can't bring myself to say this to your face because my pride barely wants me to even acknowledge you anymore; but my heart wants me to write out everything I'm feeling. I loved you; honest to God. Whether or not your love was just temporary or spur of the moment, my love for you was always real. I looked at you like you were the sun that lit up the entire world. I may be corny with how I explain things, but at least I'm honest and trying. Things didn't work how I wanted them to, but maybe that's what was intended to happen and I was just fighting to hard. I gave in this time. Not because I didn't care, or that you weren't worth it. But for the reason that I was to tired of continuing on. You say you fought, and I believe you. But we were fighting two different battles. I was fighting for us, and you were fighting for you. I believe that you thought you loved me; hell maybe you really do. I wont ever doubt you on that. But I just wish things turned out differently. You'll always be important to me and if someday in the future we can gather up enough strength and respect for each other to become friends; I'd love for it to happen. I'll always be here for you even if you don't believe me when I say that. I was wrong for all the times I acted like I hated you when we both know I never could. But you'll take some blame yourself. You're stupid and arrogant at times. Just like I'm stubborn and hardhearted. We have our own flaws we'll have to work out on our own. And I just wanted to let you know that even though we're not like we used to be, that if someday you want to get that back; I will be here. But only if you're really willing to try. Because I'd rather have you in my life just a little bit, than not at all. So never be to shy to say you still want me around because I'm not half the person I used to be. I love you; I'll be seeing you.

Always,
Someone not worth mentioning.